Steroids and MMA

Mixed Martial Arts, and most notably the UFC, have broken into the mainstream consciousness of the American public. By gaining this notoriety, however MMA must cope with the same unrelenting scrutiny that all other sports under the public eye endure. In addition, athletes within the sport, spurred on by the recent success, may be tempted by the lure of performance enhancing substances.

Given the provocative nature of the sport and the biases of some older, more conservative journalists, MMA needs to be more pro-active in dealing with this situation than any other league.

The UFC, despite its newfound popularity, is still viewed by a large contingent of uninformed sports journalists as nothing more than, as John McCain would say, "human cockfighting." While these journalists may never understand the complexity that is Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, or the all-around talent of a fighter like Randy Couture, they do have a firm grasp on steroids. After all, these are the men who for years covered the inadequacies in MLB drug testing. In the court of public opinion, journalists are judge, jury and executioner. They skillfully manipulate public perception of many issues by utilizing the public forum their column provides them.

Having said that, Dana White and the UFC need to take steps NOW to clean up this sport. The UFC currently leaves drug testing to the gaming commissions of the respective state where an event is being held. Some states, such as Texas, don't test at all, believing that it should be up to the promoter to drug-test their fighters. If the UFC desires acceptance as a mainstream sport, this clearly cannot continue. If Dana White truly wants this sport to overtake boxing in the hearts of fight fans across the nation, then he needs to prove to his fans that every fighter that steps into the cage is clean.

In UFC 73, the recent highly promoted Lightweight title fight between Sean Sherk and Hermes Franca, BOTH fighters tested positive after the fight. While any fighter testing positive is completely unacceptable, to have both fighters in such a high-profile fight test positive was shocking.This wasn't an under-card fighter trying to break into the big leagues, both of these fighters are veterans of the octagon who were fighting for a World Title Belt within the world's biggest MMA organization.

Their positive tests come on the heels of one of the godfathers of the sport, Royce Gracie, testing positive after his last match in June. Prior to Royce, former heavyweight champ Tim Sylvia tested positive...unfortunately the list of events such as these is a long one.

This is not an isolated incident, it is an infestation. Dana White must take decisive action, and he must do it soon. UFC has carved out a niche for itself and continues to develop a strong following around the globe. However, if it truly wants to continue expanding its fan base then it needs to prove to its loyal followers that the fighters are equally matched, and thus clean of any performance enhancing drugs.

Dana White needs to step forward and take it upon himself to ensure that all fighters will be tested at every event. If he does not, then not only will some of the current fans start jumping ship, but those sharks circling MMA in press boxes and newspaper columns around the nation are going to have a feeding frenzy.

Read more after the jump...

Soccer Fans Unite!

To the the dozens of soccer fans who will read this post, we have arrived... at least for the next 6 months.

I have no shame in singing this sports' praises, usually at the price of endless ridicule from my closest friends. The sport I love so dearly has long been viewed in this country as the bastard child of the Olympics... worth paying attention to every four years at the World Cup.

Now, however, it's our time in spot light. By hook or by crook, we managed to bring the most marketable and recognizable sports figure in the world to Major League Soccer.

For the next few months his addition will bring this league to the world stage. Americans as an audience are always (how about that for alliteration) looking for the next "in" thing. (Unless of course you're watching ESPN's "Who's Now" in which case the only thing you're looking for is the remote). At this moment in time, there is nothing bigger in LA than Beckham. While this moment of marketable glory is still upon the league, there are certain measures the league should take to make the most of this opportunity...

1. Embrace the designated player rule.... to an extent.
The reason the NASL faltered so long ago was that owners were spending money as if they were the NFL.... only without the stability and revenue that the other leagues possess. If you look at the success of Juan Pablo Angel and Guillermo Barros Schelotto, it is obvious that these players bring a higher skill level than the standard MLS player. Find more of these guys... but without breaking the bank.

2. Expand the league.... just not to New York
I don't care how big of a media market NYC is. Nor do I care how much money Red Bull is pouring into this franchise, the fact remains that they have some of the worst fan support of any team in the MLS. Word has come out that MLS will be returning to San Jose which should make everyone involved with the league excited. The Earthquakes always drew a large crowd and had a very loyal following, it's good to have them back. The next three logical destinations should be...

• A.) Portland/Seattle - Seattle had a sell-out crowd for the Real Madrid vs. DC United match last year.
  
  
• B.) Canada - No team has enjoyed a greater fan base so far this year than Toronto. While DC United can still claim to have the most loyal and devoted fans of any MLS team (The Barra Brava should be recognized as the best supporter group in the league http://www.barra-brava.com), Toronto has shown that they are in the upper echelon. That being said, another team in America Jr. could produce a great rivalry and pull in some of the hockey fans during the off-season.
  

• C.) Philly - They allready have the supporter groups in place http://www.sonsofben.net/Home/Home.html ... now they just nead a team.

That is all for now. But in the words of my esteemed colleague A-Funk: "slappywag is the hootenanny"

Read more after the jump...

Greatest....Video...Ever

Between the Mr. Belding cameo (what does he do with his life?!?!), a washed up Billy “80’s-bully-for-hire” Zabka in his trailer trash finest, and a full recreation of the All Valley Under 18 Championships, this has to be the greatest music video for anyone born between 1980- 1986.

Bill Simmons would be happy to note that they even got the “put him in a body bag!!!…..yeahh!!!”- guy for this video (apparently he was available)

Also, I found out the Billy Zabka actually directed this thing, which makes it that much more enjoyable…

Read more after the jump...

10 Things Roger Goodell Can Do to Make the 2008 NFL Season Better

1. Tell Brett Favre he just won the Super Bowl. Considering he now looks like he is about 60 yrs. old, it is safe to assume that he probably doesn't have the "daggone interweb" or any other connections with reality. Pop in a tape of Super Bowl XXXI and tell him he just beat the Tom Brady AND Randy Moss. We can even hold a fake press conference wear a teary-eyed Favre can (finally) announce his retirement.

2. Unsuspend Pacman Jones, hire Flava Flav as his agent, and make it a VH1 reality dating series. Either that or he MUST play for the Bengals.

3. Accuse Michael Vick of random things while Vegas puts odds on whether or not he actually did said things. Currently they are giving 2- 1 that he is the kingpin behind a human trafficking ring that sponsors"human cockfights". I'm not taking that action.

4. Kick the Patriots out of the league, or suspend Belichick indefinitely and appoint Art Shell as their all-time head coach.

5. Change Rex Grossman's first name to "Onmyface" so we can inevitably hear this dialogue:
John Madden: "When are they going to sit Onmyface and give someone else a shot?"
Pat Summerall: "I have been waiting for them to sit Onmyface for a year now"

6. Change the All-Star game to "shirts vs. skins." I have three words for you- "Larry Allen Topless"

7. The Chargers have to wear the baby blue throwback jerseys at all times (not joking, we really want this). This includes post-game interviews, trips to the grocery stores, and any time they are "making relations" with their groupies wives. On a related note, the Broncos need new jerseys altogether.

8. Get Hooked on Phonics for Shannon Sharpe and have him compete with a second grader to see who can pronounce Hippopotamus first. We have money on the second grader and Vegas has the money line at -500 that Sharpe says "Hip Hop Anonymous"

9. Install a self-serve deli on the Giants sideline with a hidden camera and keep track of how many times Jared Lorenzen makes pastrami sandwiches.

10. Put John Madden in the booth for a baseball game, just to see if he notices.

*We at HBC would like to thank our good friend Chuck "Diesel/Danzasmack" Danielsson for his wittiness on this post*

Read more after the jump...

Athlete's Wives: Way Hotter Than Yours

Everybody’s friends at the Fanhouse have done a phenomenal job of compiling galleries of pictures of our favorite athletes (as well as golfers) and their wives. We at HeadBallCoach were inspired by their work and have taken on the difficult task of comparing these women based solely on their physical attributes. Because, really, that's all we care about.

Ladies (Are you lost?) and Gentlemen: The Hottest Wife Competition...

Football

Although the Barber twins are clearly affected by as what can only be described as “yellow fever,” our pick to represent the National Football League is Jeff Garcia’s wife, and former Playmate of the Year, Carmella Decesare. If you need NSFW convincing, simply do a Google Image search on her . Sweet Baby Jesus.

Baseball

Maybe Fanhouse just doesn’t have that many pics of baseball players’ wives. We hope that's the case, otherwise MLB players have absolutely no idea how to make use of their gigantic salaries. We went with Alicia Piazza simply because she looks like she WAS hot back when Mike still liked women. Derek Jeter deserves mention both for crushing more ass than we even have room to discuss, and not being tied down to just one piece of meat woman.

Basketball

We are sick and tired of seeing Eva Longoria on the San Antonio sidelines so we went with the sleeper pick of this competition, KG’s wife Brandi Garnett.

Golf

And finally, in an attempt to further confuse his children’s gene pool, Tiger Woods took a Swedish model as his wife. She gets extra points for having a twin sister.

WINNER: If you're still reading this, you're probably only scrolling with one hand, and I hope it's not because of Mike Piazza. Carmella Decesare by a country mile.

However, twins hold a special place in our pants hearts, and Elin Woods takes the gold if she brings her sister into the mix.

Read more after the jump...

1 Hog + 1 Lion + 1 Angry Looking Bird = Playoffs

This will be the year the Arizona Cardinals snap their nine year playoff drought.

Last year a leaky offensive line doomed Matt Leinart and the rest of the Cardinals' skill players. This year, there's a new sheriff in town, and he certainly looks ready to shoot a low budget porno.



No that's not Ron Jeremy on the set of '4th and 9 Inches,' it's Russ Grimm--the Cardinals new offensive line coach. An original member of the famed Redskins 'Hogs,' Grimm will know exactly how to utilize new draftee Levi Brown and former Buffalo Bill Mike Gandy to form a nasty, aggressive offensive line. While it won't evoke images of Grimm and his Hog-Mates steamrolling Miami in Super Bowl XVII, this improved Cardinals o-line will finally allow this talented Cardinal offense to shine.

Adding two Michigan alums (Go Blue!), Alan Branch and Stevie Breaston, through the draft should offer a substantial boost to the defense and special teams as well.

NFC West, you've been warned. Besides, Seahawks fans, are you really betting on this guy to win the division for you?


Read more after the jump...

"37 have tried, 37 have failed"

There are the words of Floyd Mayweather, Jr. at a press conference leading up to the biggest fight since Mike Tyson told us he would “just fade into Bolivian.” Here is our take:

De La Hoya

The biggest figure in boxing today when you consider the mom factor (My mom knows who he is…and thinks he’s handsome). No other fighter has such universal recognition as Oscar De La Hoya and if you think otherwise, picture in your mind what Wladomir Klitschko looks like…You thought of Ivan Drago, didn’t you?

Pros: Bigger, stronger, more experienced, sounds like Wilmer Valderrama

Cons: Slower, soft from fame and fortune, sounds like Wilmer Valderrama

Mayweather

The best pound-for-pound fighter in the game today (how many times have you heard that phrase since this fight was announced?). He is a voracious competitor that loves to fight and has the stamina of a 5 yr. old that just did lines of pixy stix. When you add in the drama surrounding his life, you have one of the most intriguing characters in the sport. Ever.

Pros: Faster, undefeated, younger, top of his game, regularly carries $30k in his pockets

Cons: Fighting up a weight class, less experienced, gambling habit likely to bankrupt him in the next 3 years

Head Ball Coach’s pick: Mayweather wins in a unanimous decision. We don't see him KO'ing the strong-chinned De La Hoya

....click clack

Read more after the jump...